1600 BC. A Minoan ship in search of the sources of Amber enters the never-never land.
Beyond the Trojan straits lies the Sea of the North (the Black Sea, the Hospitable Sea), and into it flows a great river (Dnipro, my friends, Dnipro). And up that river, our adventurers go (bronze helmets and horsehair panaches and all). And up that river, a welcoming committee awaits them.
A little short on clothing and manners, but enthusiastic all the same.
Come, make new friends, and kill them.